everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
There's a naked man in my car right now.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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