Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
