What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
