fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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