He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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