You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
