I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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