Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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