I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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