Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
