im drinking this country out of the recession.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
my liver is dry heaving
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
