Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
it's great music for shaving your balls
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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