Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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