I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
That's how pantless uber rides happen
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
