And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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