One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
