Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Oh god it's open bar.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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