I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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