ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
