I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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