I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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