Midget sex pt 2 tonight
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
