That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Randomize
