Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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