My pussy is not your playground.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
