dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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