I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
