summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
now i know why i became what i already was.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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