We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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