just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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