I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
