I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
