I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
