Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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