So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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