I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
What a dumb baby whore.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
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