Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
