he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
