It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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