i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If I die, sorry about rent.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
