We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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