i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
