We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
It's just like the Real World with babies
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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