I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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