can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
