called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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