Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
