just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
