I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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