Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
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