Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
