I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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