I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
no you cant smoke seaweed
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
