sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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