What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
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