Where did you get a picture of my penis
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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