I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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