There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
