"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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