Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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