I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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