dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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