I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
