the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize