You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
