if i can run in heels then i can drive
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
