Moan for me like Helen Keller
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
