i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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