the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
