I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
