Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
