My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Randomize
